The Resume of Love by Kris Meyer

headshot

Love is defined as an intense feeling of deep affection. Every day, as I am scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed or any other form of social media, I am constantly reading posts about finding Mr. or Mrs. Right. I read posts claiming that there is nobody out there and how it doesn’t matter how hard people try to find true love; it seems like an impossible task. Now to be completely honest with you, I was once a serial dater that ended any relationship I had before it even began. I had a High School sweetheart and things went horribly wrong. I could probably write an article or two just trying to explain that story, but let’s just keep it simple and say things didn’t work out and I gave up on the idea of love. So like I said, I was a serial dater but eventually I met someone that changed that mindset and now I am set to get married in August of this year. Oh and I just turned 31 in November so you can kind of put a timeline on everything.

 

A major mistake that most people make when searching for love would be putting a clock on meeting their, “soulmate.” Any type of a countdown will create stress and possibly force any individual into making poor choices. One mistake, for example, could be signing up to a C level dating app like Plenty of Fish or perhaps committing the biggest mistake of all: staying in a relationship because you have already invested several years of your life into a certain someone. The fact that people actually decide not to break up with their significant other when he or she knows all too well that things can’t get any better is just beyond me. It is extremely rare to go from a bad relationship to an amazing marriage. I know a few people who thought things would get better with time and that the other person, him or her, would change. Only people who leave a poisonous relationship and find real love can tell you how they wish they would have left sooner. And the worst part is how they wasted so much time and effort trying to make things work, usually for all the wrong reasons. And just for the record, I do not hate on dating apps. I just think some are better than others.

When it comes to dating or finding the one, you need to put yourself out there. Dating is like finding a new job. Why do you hear people say the first date is like an interview? Perhaps it is because it is an interview to see how compatible you really are with one another. I have had a lot of first dates and we all know that some go better than others. But by the end of the night you usually know what you have. You may have been blown away by your date and hopefully you secured a second date. Maybe things went terribly wrong like he was a Yankees fan while she loved the Red Sox. Or maybe there wasn’t much to talk about but let’s face it; sometimes the laws of attraction take over regardless of the conversation. What I didn’t mention was the situation in where he or she is having the best date ever, while the person sitting across from you was counting down the minutes until they could say goodnight. The worst is when he or she gets that mysterious phone call in the middle of dinner claiming they need to go help a friend when really all they are doing is making any excuse possible to leave. That sucks for whoever the person is, but we can’t always get what we want. So at that point you go all in and try to change the person’s opinion or move on because if there is one thing I know, thanks to Fishbowl or Plenty of Fish lol, that there are plenty of fish in the sea.

So back to my original point about reading people’s Facebook posts about struggling to find Mr. or Mrs. Right. Back in the day and by that I mean in the late 90’s, if I wanted to ask someone on a date I had to physically walk up to them and ask her out. The 90’s also meant that I had a limited supply of people to ask out as well. We didn’t have dating apps or Facebook. We had the people that lived in our neighborhood and the people who we went to school with. Trust me it wasn’t easy to date someone outside of your district. And I am not going to totally disregard the Internet when it came to dating in the 90’s. There was always the famous question of A.S.L. (Age, Sex, and Location). I laugh to this day when I think about it. I remember StylingGrlPurple asking me aka Navywasp what I was doing on Saturday night. To young adults today it must sound like a bunch of fighter pilots talking to each other in code. You got my back Goose? Don’t worry, Maverick. I’m right behind you.

My point is that in today’s world with the social media and 100,000 dating apps, you can talk to and actually see as many people as you want until you finally get it right. It doesn’t matter if you are looking for love, or just a one night stand. There are apps and websites for every single type of dating there is. And trust me you might not want to know all of the different types of dating there is lol. Did you know that there was a time where people actually went on blind dates? You had no idea who you were meeting, you had no idea what they looked like or even what they were even interested in. If that type of dating can lead to finding your soulmate, 10% of the time, then people, let’s stop complaining about finding the right person and just get out there. People today have gotten way too lazy when it comes to dating. I am not even going to get into Netflix and Chill.

Like I said earlier, if you just treat dating like you would finding a job, then you will find Mr. or Mrs. Right in a matter of months. That’s a promise. With all the advantages we have today where you can actually scroll through pictures and bios of people before even talking to them in real life. You can line up everything you want in a significant other and when you finally find the perfect person, ask them out. All you need to do is keep doing this over and over again until you finally hit the jackpot. I know I may be making it sound a lot easier than it really is, but the truth is most people want to be loved by someone. Most people want to know that there is someone out there that is thinking about them during the day and is anxiously waiting for that someone special to get home like my beagle waiting for the garage door to open. Again, I am only 31, but I have been down that road, searching for that special someone. All I can say is that when that person comes into your life, whether it is through a dating app or at a Brooklyn Islanders ice hockey game, you will know when you meet your one true love.