Internal dialogue happens constantly for most people. It occurs mostly as words rolling around in our heads but there are also feelings that accompany the words or sometimes just the feelings alone. Feelings of fear, worry, anger or feelings of peace, joy, serenity. I used to think that I had no control over this inner dialogue. After all, if someone has done something that I deem stupid, inappropriate, or mean, I thought that it was only normal to react with anger. It may be considered normal or “to be expected” but is it wise? Medical science shows us that negative emotions make us sick and can lead to pre-mature death. Metaphysics tells us that thoughts are substance and can manifest materially in our lives in accordance with whether or not the thought is a positive one or a negative one. Religion tells us this same truth with the Biblical quote, “You reap what you sow”. One of my Facebook friends posted a photo of someone holding a burning coal and written beneath it were the words, ‘Being angry is like holding a burning coal with the intent to give it to the one with whom you are angry.” Point taken.
When I first learned that I had the power to choose how to react and that circumstances didn’t have to dictate, I was skeptical. Now I know the truth, and it is exhilarating to know that I have the power to choose and can act upon it. So much of the internal chatter is really programed thinking. We react to things in a certain way because we have always done so before…and so it continues until we make a conscious choice. After the choose is made, repetition needs to follow. Consistently making the new choice will eventually re-program the brain. There is an element of work involved too. For instance, if there is a feeling of sadness, we can choose to focus on it, live there and dwell on it. Or we can ask ourselves a few questions. First, Why are we sad? Own it. Accept it. If there is no conscious reason accept that as well. Next, ask ourselves are there any steps we can take to change the situation that is making us sad and formulate a plan. Use the emotion of sadness to propel you to make changes if that is applicable. Next, make a choice to re-direct your focus to a happier time or even an imagined happy time. Choose to focus on that, create it or remember it clearly in your mind with great detail. Meditate on it until the feeling of sadness lifts, even if only a little at first. Then, go back and habitually do this exercise often. This is just one way of taking charge of your emotions and your life.
Want help in re-training your brain and re-newing your mind? YOU can break free from those thoughts and feelings which keep you enslaved and result in your unhappiness and even in health problems. As your coach, I can teach you, guide you and provide for you an opportunity to be accountable. We are so much more apt to accomplish what we want to if we know that we must will need to report back to someone and tell them of our progress. No one wants to say that they have not made any progress toward their goal.
Call me at 609-533-7966Andrea Hartley is the publisher of Lehigh Valley Woman’s Journal, wellness coach, and personal trainer with a specialty in mind body connection, certified by AAAI/ISMA.